The Lord urged me to take an extended social media break in the month leading up to my birthday. It was a wonderful time off and I’m not dipping a toe back in. The last month I felt clear headed, able to write just for fun and not likes, and found myself having more free time to ponder with God or really listen to my kids. In this age we are all learning how to live in this technological world, one that we’re not quite made for and is fairly foreign to our DNA.
One evening last week I lit the lights on the deck and sat with the Lord in the fading sun. He spoke so much as I sat and scrawled it across my notebook. They are words I treasure, and ones that I will ponder and read over and over again until the content truly seeps into my bloodstream.
For much of this past year I have had this nagging in the back of my mind that I should be, should be, should be doing something more with my time or with social media or with ministry. Super vague, and kind of maddening, right? At the heart of it I thought I was making sure that I wasn’t “wasting” anything God gave me, but truly I think I was just longing for greener pastures, one that is a little more glamorous and exciting than my stay-at-home mom life.
On the patio God showed me that I have been looking for a ministry, but I’m already living a mission. That my whole life is a mission, and my mission is LIFE. If it looks like I dabble in a million different little projects it’s because that’s reflective of my LIFE with the Lord. If my writing shifts and there’s more prophecy last year than now, or more photographs this month than last, it’s because life is fluid and balance is a lie. At the heart of it, God has called me to live my faith and share my life. It’s impossible to wrap a whole life up in a neat branded and beautiful package in which you can always be sure what you will get.
There’s parenting, homeschooling, running a school, relationships, photography, writing and so much more. This space will always be a smattering of those things, and I’m sure will change as the years march ahead.
I’m not confident that I’m a missionary of this ONE wild and beautiful life I get to live with our Savior.
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10