The fourth.

So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

-Wendell Berry

Three months.

Our time with Winnie has been filled with joy and light.  Her smile is infectious and her brothers adore her everyday.  When she catches sight of one of them across the room she immediately bursts forth into a gummy grin and talks back to them when they chat with her.  She dislikes the car which makes me thankful that we don’t have any time for a vacation this summer.  Winnie sleeps well for a 3 month old, and now that Sol is actually going to sleep by himself at a reasonable hour Brad and I have some alone time in the evenings.  A small miracle in itself.

With every child I have a little more experience and ability to just enjoy where they are even if it’s hard.

I still can’t believe we have a daughter.  It feels so different, yet not different at all.  I’m thankful for this opportunity God has given us to have a little girl (and to experience flamingo fabric and cupcake pants).

“Birthday Dinner”

I found this poem in my journal from nearly two years ago on Brad’s birthday.  It made me laugh so I thought I would share.


Behind schedule.

Light grill

and when hot enough,

put chicken on.

Wait.

Go to check.

Barely cooked.

“I’ll give it another couple of minutes”,

betray and turn oven up.

Transfer chicken,

fretting over lost charcoal.

Sides wait patiently

for their star.

Open oven,

not enough.

Make the difficult decision

that often leads to destruction

“TIME TO BROIL!”

Yes, this is the dinner that inspired the poem. As you can see, the chicken made it;)

Around us and to us.

I’ve been pondering the differences of our hardships in Zanesville and those of our life in Columbus.  Both are and were difficult, full of a lot of times where we threw our hands up in despair over the situations we found ourselves in.

In Columbus, in our inner city house, we felt protected.  We knew we had angels guarding our property and that for the most part, no harm would come to us.  However, outside of that line all was fair game.  There were murders, fires, drug deals, all within 100 feet of our house.  Every time something like that happened, fear showed up.  The “what if’s” raced through our mind and it took time for us to reevaluate and remember we were there because God asked us to be and that he would be faithful.

Here in Zanesville, we have our spacious place and we no longer worry about gunshots because the ones we hear belong to hunters.  We don’t sit on our porch and see drug deals, or vacant and abandoned houses go up in flames across the street.  We no longer hear neighbors screaming at each other at 3 am while their babies cry.

However, we seem to be dealing with a whole load of personal scrutiny and attack since landing and starting our ventures here.  We can now see that it goes with the territory of having public events and spaces, but I tell you, we were not prepared for it.

Every time it has happened, it has hurt our hearts.  It’s so hard to read these things (generally on social media) about us, and to not just want to scream untruth and try to make ourselves look better.  But one thing we’ve learned is that if someone is willing to spout angry things about another person, they’re generally not going to listen to good reason.  We pray about it, try and forgive them, and after some time things feel better.

God has shown up, in so many of these times, to completely reverse the situation.  We’ve seen him change the heart and mind of the person who felt they were wronged, so much so that it’s nothing short of miraculous (Brad has a really good story that I hope I can get him to share).

I don’t know if either of these situations is more difficult than the other, they’re just different.  I am pleased to no longer wake up in the middle of the night shaking because of gunshots outside our window, but it’s no easy thing to hear unkind words about your husband and to stand strong knowing that our worth is in God alone.

Through it all, God is good and has led us on some spectacular adventures.  The desires of our heart have been heard and answered, and His work is always good.