for what it’s worth.

Sometimes it feels as though my grandmother and I are about as opposite as can be.

The other day I was telling her I had to go to Athens to drop off my artwork for the Women of Appalachia show.  Just a few days before I had picked the photos up from the Parkersburg Art Center.

She kind of laughed and said, “Is it worth it?”

I stammered for a minute and muttered something about knowing how much driving this entailed when I submitted my pieces.  If I could go back in time I would boldly declare that YES, it is worth it.  It’s worth it because my art is in a show and that is super cool.

My heart was hurt because I feel like she often doesn’t see the worth or the value in the type of life I’m leading.  My children break things, I don’t value stuff the same way she does and my house is always, always a mess.

In reality I lack the courage to find my worth in Christ alone.

My word to focus on for 2016 is courage.  I was inspired while listening to a sermon of my father in law’s one morning (grandpa music as the boys like to call it).  He was defining courage not just as bravery but as living from the heart.

I can’t be the only person who looks back on situations and has the perfect thing they should have said or done, right?  If I were living from a place of courage and not of fear how differently would I respond sometimes?

If I were living from my heart, value and worth would be found in my savior alone.  I would not feel less than because I am not more.

I desire courage to break the paths of bad habits, courage to parent fully and lovingly, courage to boldly do what is right for myself or my family and courage to not make decisions out of fear.

I don’t know about you but I’m tired of living out of fear.  I’m tired of it creeping into my soul, into my mind, always reminding me of the “what if’s”.

This year I will find courage to be me without excuses, a beautiful child of God.