I’ve spent the morning cleaning the same things I spent yesterday morning cleaning. Life is a cycle of cleaning, picking up, cooking and cleaning again and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Often I forget what a privilege it is to live the life I do, and I start to become a complainer. But when I step back and evaluate the home life we’ve created and I get to tend, I know there’s really nowhere else I would rather be.
I get to watch my kids be best friends, and too often each other’s worse enemies. I get to hug them when they’re hurt, either physically or emotionally. We get to talk about what God wants for them and read books and watch shows. I get to bake with them and get frustrated when they spill milk for the 100th time that day.
Even now in what is supposed to be my quiet time the youngest has escaped and is trying to draw in my journal and climb on my lap as a write. I will keep going, and gently move her along. It’s not ideal, but its beautiful. It’s the life I get to live and it sure is a brilliant one.
In the summer I get to grow beautiful flowers and food and in the winter I have time to bake sourdough and ferment kombucha. How fun is that?!
I get to teach my kids their letters and the sounds they make. I get to provide them with the tools to create and invent new things and prod and poke them along when they become discouraged with learning.
It’s not the life I thought I would lead, but it’s all mine and it’s beautiful. I may not get a lot of time to myself, and I might spend most of my days in sweatpants, but it’s the most beautiful life I could ever ask for.
I often feel pulled between wanting to take more time to work on my own projects and also knowing that this time I get at home with my children is so fleeting. It’s already over half gone with my oldest. I know for sure I will have 6 more years of him at home, and I want to provide the best environment I can for him during that time. Ministry and mission are important, but they cannot be more important than these 5 gifts God has given me.
And, like God told me this summer, I am a missionary of LIFE and this life I’m living deserves my best.
So when I want to do my own stuff, and be known for doing something cool, I have to remember I already am known by the best five pals I could ever ask for, the most wonderful and caring husband, and best of all, the CREATOR of the universe who loves me beyond measure. I need nothing else but to know that I am stewarding what has been given to me. And if God asks me to do more, I will absolutely be His yielded vessel for Him to pour into.
(Blogtober Day 4)