I have cornered the beard market!
As long as the demand for store-bought beards is at least one, then I am in luck.
I’m auctioning off my most prized possession - my beard.
My beard circa September 3, 2008
Click here to go to the E-bay auction to purchase my beard.
It’s literally one of my only remaining possessions. We have the car, a laptop, a camera, and this beard…
I love this beard. I haven’t shaved since February 1st. If it wasn’t obvious already, this beard auction should demonstrate my resolve to the communal house.
How can I purchase a beard, you ask? What would I do with a beard, you say?
The winner of this auction will have all legal rights to the hair on my face below my ears for a period of seven days.
You could tell me to keep it and antagonize Melissa for yet another miserable week. You could command me to shave your corporate logo into my face.
You could also tell me to shave my beard into lightning bolts or put something obscene in it.
When stretched out, I have a little over 4 inches of beard to work with.
My face is your domain.
Don’t wait to bid or I won’t wait to shave.