The Deal

You didn’t think that you get to read this site for nothing did you?

Here’s the deal: I’m willing to give you a direct portal into my soul, but you have to agree not to be a jerk.

First, I’m a dynamic character in the story of my life.

That means that a year from now, when my perspective on things will definitely have changed you can’t say “But Brad, I thought you said...”

Things could change from today to tomorrow.  If that’s going to cause too much turbulence for you, there’s plenty of inane, one-dimensional people blogging the hades out of their boring lives.

I’d be happy to provide a list.

I’d love to have you take part in my crazy, upside-down thought process.  But you must maintain no expectation of consistency.

Second, I don’t have time (substitute will, desire or care) to sugarcoat everything I say.

Yes, everything I say is my own opinion.  Don’t expect to read “I think”, “In my opinion” or “IMHO” before every sentence.

Just like your eighth grade writing teacher told you, everything I write is my own opinion, so why waste everyone’s time?

There are also exceptions to every rule.  I know this, you know this… so why waste precious word space by prefacing statements with “in many cases” or “statistics show”.

Cut me a break, ok?

Finally, no one wants to read about a movie that was sort-of-good, or a town that was moderately comfortable.

If I think something was good, I’m going to talk about the good things.  If I thought something was bad, I’m going to point out of all the worst things.

Just because I think one particular town would be a horrible place to live doesn’t mean their aren’t nice people that live there (please reference sugarcoating and exceptions above).

What strikes me as awful in a town today could be awesome tomorrow (please reference consistency above).

Please, have fun with this, roll with the punches, cut me a little slack and don’t give me any excrement.

If we all take these things into account, I think this will be more pleasant for everyone.

I know what you’re thinking, “Brad, is that all you want from me?”

I’m so glad you asked.

There is more that you can do.

Pray.  We need lots of God’s blessing on us.

From making sure punks don’t break into our van and steal all of our canned pineapple to ensuring that we find people that genuinely need a hand, we need lots of God’s help.

Be nice.  Please, just be nice to people.

Like the insurance commercial in which one person is nice to another, then that person is nice to someone else we need to all help each other out.

Maybe if you allow someone into your lane in traffic, it’ll spread and someone won’t T-bone me in an intersection when I can’t stop the house van in time.

Think.  Use your brain.

Keep an open mind.  Listen to people.

If reading this blog is going to use up all of your compassion, understanding and flexibility for one day, please navigate back to foxnews.com, and use the energy you would have spent here listening to a coworker or neighbor and genuinely considering what they have to say.

This is the deal.

Please note: the management of simplyonelife.org reserves the right to needlessly, heedlessly and rudely modify this agreement at any time and for no reason whatsoever.

Comments

Let me first say that the relationship between brothers is like the bridge between two cities. One city is Awesomeburg and the other is Buttville. Guess who’s Buttville? (note: shamelessly stolen from a birthday card and used on at least one other brother to date).

I am officially commandeering the role of Jiminy Cricket on this expedition you boy-with-no-strings you. And yes, I will be judging from afar...from the suburbs no less...perhaps Grove City even. But not today as I have driven into the city to work and drain it of resources. And, I should really get back to work before I lose my job and have to sit at home in my baby factory suburb.

Now, I have to catch up with Shawn Hannity so he can tell me what’s REALLY happening in the world, so if you’ll excuse me, I must go.

I’m praying for you.

Your biggest brother (and fan) - Brian

I accept the awesome responsibility that you have presented before us, your humble awaiting audience. Along your journey I will send hordes of prayer missles to explode you with the blessings of the almighty God.

I may have a hard time ending the foxnews love fest that goes on in my livingroom every evening, but for you brad, I will bite the bullet.

Send me a post card of a Camel Spider if you happen to find one in the desert.

Good, you didnt ask for money..... Praying is free so at least i can do that much

Yes, prayer is free so why is everyone afraid of it???  Your journey may just inspire people to use it.  Be careful we cannot stop all the loose nuts out there!!!

So how is Athens treating you?????..... one question.... can you guys post comments back to us..... how are we allowed to get ahold of you guys, just by the site or will cell phones be used as well??? just wondering.....

Athens is good.  Yes we can post comments back, but email is probably the best way to reach us.  .  We have turned our phones off but we will check the voicemail probably once a week.

You know, I really thought twice about the FoxNews comment.

It was the first thing that popped into my head.  You know I ain’t hatin’.

-Brad