You didn’t think that you get to read this site for nothing did you?

Here’s the deal: I’m willing to give you a direct portal into my soul, but you have to agree not to be a jerk.

First, I’m a dynamic character in the story of my life.

That means that a year from now, when my perspective on things will definitely have changed you can’t say “But Brad, I thought you said...”

Things could change from today to tomorrow.  If that’s going to cause too much turbulence for you, there’s plenty of inane, one-dimensional people blogging the hades out of their boring lives.

I’d be happy to provide a list.

I’d love to have you take part in my crazy, upside-down thought process.  But you must maintain no expectation of consistency.

Second, I don’t have time (substitute will, desire or care) to sugarcoat everything I say.

Yes, everything I say is my own opinion.  Don’t expect to read “I think”, “In my opinion” or “IMHO” before every sentence.

Just like your eighth grade writing teacher told you, everything I write is my own opinion, so why waste everyone’s time?

There are also exceptions to every rule.  I know this, you know this… so why waste precious word space by prefacing statements with “in many cases” or “statistics show”.

Cut me a break, ok?

Finally, no one wants to read about a movie that was sort-of-good, or a town that was moderately comfortable.

If I think something was good, I’m going to talk about the good things.  If I thought something was bad, I’m going to point out of all the worst things.

Just because I think one particular town would be a horrible place to live doesn’t mean their aren’t nice people that live there (please reference sugarcoating and exceptions above).

What strikes me as awful in a town today could be awesome tomorrow (please reference consistency above).

Please, have fun with this, roll with the punches, cut me a little slack and don’t give me any excrement.

If we all take these things into account, I think this will be more pleasant for everyone.

I know what you’re thinking, “Brad, is that all you want from me?”

I’m so glad you asked.

There is more that you can do.

Pray.  We need lots of God’s blessing on us.

From making sure punks don’t break into our van and steal all of our canned pineapple to ensuring that we find people that genuinely need a hand, we need lots of God’s help.

Be nice.  Please, just be nice to people.

Like the insurance commercial in which one person is nice to another, then that person is nice to someone else we need to all help each other out.

Maybe if you allow someone into your lane in traffic, it’ll spread and someone won’t T-bone me in an intersection when I can’t stop the house van in time.

Think.  Use your brain.

Keep an open mind.  Listen to people.

If reading this blog is going to use up all of your compassion, understanding and flexibility for one day, please navigate back to foxnews.com, and use the energy you would have spent here listening to a coworker or neighbor and genuinely considering what they have to say.

This is the deal.

Please note: the management of simplyonelife.org reserves the right to needlessly, heedlessly and rudely modify this agreement at any time and for no reason whatsoever.