Winter this year.
I have been hardcore grumpin’ it since the holidays were over. I keep blaming it on the weather, the kids being sick, being stuck in the house, etc. But really? I just have nothing productive to do with my time.
My day starts and I usually wake to a cold house due to weird furnace issues. I roll out of bed usually with the kids next to me and begin to make oatmeal in the kitchen. I clean up kitchen. Throw in laundry or wander around aimlessly. Tend to crying children or clean up a mess. Feed snack. Begin lunchtime prep with a small child who is usually fussy and getting tired. Eat lunch. Clean up food thrown on floor. Clean up kitchen again. Put child down. Play a little with older child. Clean up a mess. Make older child go to room for nap. Sit down intending to fold laundry or something else productive but usually end up staring at a screen or reading a book instead. Children wake up grumpy and ready for a snack. Begin dinner prep. Console crying child. Clean up mess. Eat dinner. Clean up food thrown on floor. Do dishes. Clean up living room. Put older child in time out for not cleaning up his mess. Bathtime. Bedtime. Ahhh.
This day to day stuff has been getting me down. It seems so monotonous, boring and tiring. The other day when discussing how I was going to get my life back on track Brad suggested I do something with my time. Make something, start something. Anything. And then he said the important words “it doesn’t have to be important or helpful, just do something.”
I always feel like I need to put my time to really good use. That if I don’t it’s wasteful. But what is wasteful is feeling like I’m stuck in a rut and ruining my time with others because of it.
So I made a list and I’m doing things. Trying to make changes and brainstorming new ideas.
I’ve also decided I need to take more daily photos again. I have fallen out of the habit and I miss turning mundane daily moments into beautiful lifetime memories.
You know what? These very small changes helped tremendously. Winter still sucks and I still feel stuck inside but at least I’m creating something new and feeling like a productive human being.