8 years.

8 years seems like a really long and a really short amount of time to be married.

I look back at photos from that day and think about how young we were. About how little we knew of our lives ahead but what we did know was that this was right. That despite our age and the concerns from family and friends we were to be together. And not just together, but married.

Without a doubt we made the most perfect decision. I have been married to my best friend for 8 years and I’ve known him for 9 ½ and there are times I reflect on our life and still cannot believe it’s mine.

Brad came into my life during a time of grief and I am just so thankful that God sent him to me. He was the first person to really listen, to really care and to just be there for me in an intimate and real way that I had not before felt.

Growing up together as a married couple has has it’s ups and downs. I remember during our pre-marital counseling the pastor warning us that since we are getting married so young that hitting these “growing up” steps together might be difficult. In some ways they have been, but every couple grows and changes as they get older and I’m not sure if our problems have been different than any other couple that’s been married for 8 years.

There came a time for us this past year when we had to throw away everything we thought we knew about each other and kind of start over. What I mean is that we both have these preconceived thoughts about how the other will react to a certain situation or phrase and over the years we’ve tried to “keep the peace” by avoiding these conflicts.

The problem is that we are completely different people emotionally, spiritually and physically than when we were married and our views and moods have changed. We’ve learned that we must be open and honest and to leave those past feelings and reactions at the door.

I love him so deeply and wholly now. I cannot imagine how different I will feel about us after another 8 years. We’ve faced challenges and conquered and we’ve had good times and bad and we’ve made it through.

I think we’re on the verge of a new adventure I cannot wait for the ride.

Brad wrote this poem before we were married and it appeared on the back of our program.  I unearthed it from a CD backup a couple of weeks ago and can’t believe how true it still rings for us today.

Someday there’ll be an old wooden house on a picket fence lane
With dozens of wishes made on broken window glass panes
Passersby will wonder and never quite know
why the porch swing sways when the wind doesn’t blow
But the swing will sway until the house doesn’t stand
Pushed by feet of innocent love and wedding bands on children’s hands
For it’s pushed by loving, tiny feet
Feet of hard times, lucky finds, and success we can’t keep
The swing may stop when the house is gone
But the memory of love will always live on
Because I’ll be there, and you’ll be there, and we’ll be there
And because the only thing I’ll always have is this moment… and you

-Brad Pauquette