thoughts

  • journal,  life together,  thoughts

    The fire ring

    I walked out in the arctic air to dump the compost and stopped at the beauty of the setting sun on our fire ring. I was reminded of the hot fall evening we spent with friends around that fire, roasting hot dogs and shooting cans with BB guns. Much has changed since that not long ago evening. There have been new relationships formed as well as old ones broken, miracles and healing witnessed, death and tragedy lived through, hearts made whole, fears squashed. This, all of this together, is the holy work of living life together with others. There is absolutely nothing like it, surely evidence of His kingdom coming here…

  • life,  miracles,  thoughts

    A miracle

    The first undeniable, instantaneous miracle I saw was in June 2015. I had met a guy named Wade a few months earlier when we moved to Zanesville. He claimed to be seeing miracles regularly while praying for people on the streets of Zanesville, and he invited me to come out with him. That first day I went with Wade to pray for people, we met a woman named Michelle down at the thrift store. She was shopping, and Wade believed that God told him this random woman had one leg which was shorter than the other. When Wade approached her, this stranger, and asked her if this was true, she…

  • journal,  life,  thoughts

    Dreaming.

    I wanted to eat at The Bridge for lunch today. A wave of heavy grief rolled in. Sadness that it’s over, relief that it’s over. Over the past year I’ve slowly shed parts of my former life. I told myself that homesteading wasn’t important, that vacations weren’t for us, that sewing and the creative life aren’t necessary.  We had to be able to do The Bridge with all our hearts. But, I am beginning to realize some of these things are important, and are us. The values of tending the land and of creating new things are integral for our family and community. It has left me picking up the pieces…

  • journal,  life,  thoughts

    Cleanliness.

    A couple of summers ago I sat outdoors, nursing a baby at The Wilds, while my family puttered around the gift shop. A middle-aged woman at the table next to me engaged in discussion with a younger couple, probably her children, about how another woman kept house. “She doesn’t even keep her stove clean.  I clean my stove every time I use it, I deep clean each burner every week, you know, that’s what you’ve gotta do to keep it clean.  I just don’t know what to do with her.”  On and on this lady described the shortcomings of another’s housekeeping and how angry that made her. How, with an…

  • life,  life together,  thoughts

    Twelve years of adventure.

    When we met at a party in his dorm room he made a big deal out of getting me a beer, obnoxiously and dramatically pushing people out of the way so he could get to the mini fridge.  I didn’t think much of him at first with his long blond hair and jokes until the one night everyone left and we sat on a crappy futon talking for hours. ———————————– It was fall and we were at a backyard soiree near our sophomore dorm.  He pulled a promise ring out of his pocket and we knew that forever was on the horizon. ———————————– We secretly looked at apartments together, knowing in Athens…

  • journal,  social media,  thoughts

    Love, self-awareness & Craigslist.

    The other night while lying next to Brad I remembered one of my first moments of self-awareness.  I recall playing in the field near our crick (hello, I’m Appalachian and a crick is a small creek) thinking about how I could have been born anything, a frog or a butterfly perhaps, but I was born a human.  Not only that but I was born a specific human to a specific family with a specific set of emotions, feelings and interests. This is a little mind blowing as a kid, but also interesting to think about the possibilities.  What if I had been born a frog?  What if I had been…

  • journal,  life,  thoughts

    The smell of life.

    The boys are outside and Winnie just started crying in her room.  I’m neglecting the chores, deciding instead that I will embrace this quiet moment to write.  Naturally, my quiet moment has now been interrupted by the aforementioned crying baby and the middle boy coming in yelling at the top of his lungs for me.  The door has again been left open, leaving our kitchen a safe haven for the flies. A drink of milk and 10 minutes of rocking later, I sit here again in the quiet.  The air conditioner is running, but it smells like a dead mouse is trapped somewhere in the duct.  A reminder that our…

  • life,  life together,  neighborhood,  thoughts

    Around us and to us.

    I’ve been pondering the differences of our hardships in Zanesville and those of our life in Columbus.  Both are and were difficult, full of a lot of times where we threw our hands up in despair over the situations we found ourselves in. In Columbus, in our inner city house, we felt protected.  We knew we had angels guarding our property and that for the most part, no harm would come to us.  However, outside of that line all was fair game.  There were murders, fires, drug deals, all within 100 feet of our house.  Every time something like that happened, fear showed up.  The “what if’s” raced through our…

  • #operationmovegrandmain,  house,  life,  life together,  thoughts

    Light and Shadows

    Our dining room is my favorite spot in our house.  A place of convergence at all times of day to both create and eat.  During the evening hours of spring and fall the room fills with glorious light.  The sun creates pockets of highlights and shadows that easily take your breathe away. Today contractors are removing one of my beloved windows to make a room for my grandmother to live in.  My sacred space of light is about to darken. This whole process of deciding and planning to move my grandmother in has been one of many ups and downs. She can no longer live at home safely but she can no…

  • life,  photos,  social media,  thoughts

    The social media fast.

    I need to step back for awhile, maybe forever.  Hopefully forever. I feel like an addict.  Can I socially use social media…or am I doomed to waste too much time and anxiety scrolling through feeds? I don’t know.  I’m concerned I will feel disconnected from society, but I hope that I in turn will feel connected to God. I’m not going to set up many rules for myself because guilt will not help make this better.  I may still be on social media for business purposes or just to check something. I will be posting more here, photos and such that I would normally post on social media.  I encourage you…