Last week I delivered a short message to our church on creativity.
This week I’ve realized how uncreative I’ve been for months.
God truly has a sense of humor, and I am thankful he can use me despite the fact that I am not qualified nor do I even feel qualified.
There have been times in my life of free flowing, ample creativity. Everything seems like a new idea, something to start, something to try. It’s exciting and pleasing and my brain goes a hundred miles a minute thinking about all that I want to make. It can also be disruptive and frustrating when I don’t have all the time to create all the things I would like.
But, there have also been many times, like now, where I am a dry well. There is nothing bubbling up inside of me, no desire to make new, no ideas rolling around in my brain all day long. It’s a struggle to even sit and make myself write. I haven’t picked up my camera because I don’t see anything worth taking a photo of.
I’ve been waiting this dry spell out for a long time, and it’s hit me that maybe this time I can’t just expect to feel a fresh wave of creativity without giving something of myself. Perhaps I need to water my well. I need to drag a hose out, huff and puff my way over and water that dusty hole until it fills again.
So, I’m writing. I’m going to force myself to edit the 6+ month backlog of photos that are sitting on my hard drive. I’m going to schedule walks to woods into our days and enjoy this land that we’ve been given, even if the grass needs mowed and the weeds need pulled.
Creativity is more than inspiration, it’s a lot of hard work.
It is one of the most important ways that I feel connected my Creator, which might explain the often disconnected prayer life I’ve been leading for a couple of months. I trust the Holy Spirit to show me out of this funk, and I’m excited to see the new life that is formed.
If I want creativity I must be willing to give up something else. My brain does not have the capacity for it all, which means that I just found my toddler walking around with an empty-ish maple syrup container. Today, I’m giving up non-sticky floors, knowing this feeling of connection and creativity will give me the boost I need to get through the everyday cleaning that has to happen in a house of 8.
This isn’t my best writing, my house is a mess and my hair isn’t brushed, but I wrote. I’m creating something new and that’s exciting.