it’s ok.

It’s ok to not always enjoy parenthood.

I feel like I see so many blogs today about appreciating all the parts of parenthood, even the difficult ones because soon they will be gone and our kids will be grown.

This is certainly true but I find it often adds guilt to my life.

Yes, it goes too fast. Yes, I should enjoy every minute.

Sometimes it goes painfully slow. Sometimes I really dislike the minutes.

Some days I wake up exhausted because a baby used me as a human pacifier all night and I find two rambunctious boys ready to start their day.

I rarely take a shower without one, sometimes two boys in the bathroom waiting for me to get out.

I can’t even read a psalm without having to answer a million questions.

The middle boy shouts “mom, mom, mom….” until I answer. Then he says “nothing!”. Over and over again.

I know that I will miss this someday. I will think, “wow, I should have appreciated those times more”.

But right now I’m telling myself that it’s ok not to always appreciate the moments. That in these moments I’m learning how to be a better parent and liver of life.

It’s ok to be exhausted and grumpy, because often that spurs us on to something better. It teaches us what we need in those hard moments and how to allow ourselves that. (For me right now it’s trying to get away to write this….even though there is a two year old asking me to help him put his pants on).

My eyes are half open today, my kids are loud and annoying, I feel grumpy about life.

And that’s ok.