house,  thoughts

watch us fly as loud as we can

I’ve started playing the guitar.

We scrapped the 40 day Lent food challenge (we were coming by the changes naturally already) so I decided to limit myself to one facebook check a day for Lent. And maybe forever. What a time waster and bad habit forming (Hi my name is Melissa and I am/was a compulsive checker) website it is.

With less facebook I have more free time in my mind and my day so I decided to teach myself to play guitar. Way back in our German Village days (think 2006) (ahh those were fun days) Brad taught me the four chords to play “Pour Out my Heart”. I learned them and then forgot to practice.

My desire to play has been growing and growing. Music can instantly change my mood and my day. In my head I told God that he would have to help me with this because I am not very musically talented. He agreed.

The past three weeks I’ve been teaching myself to play “Amazing Grace”. The first week was full of pain and finger misery. The second week was “HEY! It kind of sounds like a song…maybe I can do this!). The third week has been like, “HOLY CANNOLI! I can play and sing at the same time!”.

My entire life I’ve chalked myself up to not being a singer. I’ve never been able to carry a tune and I am in awe of people who can.

Brad and I occasionally worship together and I mousily sing along allowing his handsome voice to carry us through.

By week two of learning Amazing Grace I was beginning to notice that my voice was getting better. Theo and I had been spending a lot of time learning it together (me on guitar, him the words) and the more I sang the more confident I felt. The more confident I felt the better I thought I sounded.

Hmmm.

I even used my phone to record myself singing. Embarrasing but true.  I really wanted to know if it sounded as good to someone else as it did in my head. IT DID! I was in tune with the music! Hooray!

Tonight I sat in the bath reading Eugene Peterson and began to sing “Amazing Grace” because I can’t seem to get it out of my head these days. I noticed the clawfoot tub combined with the small room acoustics allowed me to hear myself as I really sound. As my voice carried up to the ceiling I realized something.

The more confidence I have the better I sing. The louder I sing the better I sound.

Then I thought,

The more confidence we have in Jesus the better we live. The louder we live the better we dwell.

Let us live in confidence and live that confidence loudly, all the rest will fall into place in a life spent with Jesus.

The Avett Brothers “Life” has been on repeat in my life for months now and the verse “Watch us fly as loud as we can” has been plastered on our chalkboard wall.

The other day Brad asked me how one “flies as loud as he can”. I laughed and told him it was a lyric but in my head thought “he just doesn’t get it”. But really, I didn’t either.

Now I feel like I’m learning to be loud. To stand up for what is right. To seek justice here on his Earth and for his kingdom. To advocate for what is good and just and right in this world. To seek beauty in the ugly. To turn the bad into good.

The times they are a changin’. For me anyways. The hope that we’ve had in God and this neighborhood is proving itself. Good things are happening. Beauty and light are shining and the darkness is passing away. “Flames can’t touch how time will prove it”.

We must begin to fly as loud as we can.

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